There’s a common misconception that leadership coaching is a standardized process: a good coach has a proven formula, and you just plug into it. I understand why people think that. We’re all drawn to systems and crave certainty.

But people are not uniform. No two leaders walk into coaching from the same place. 

One leader might come in feeling stuck, unable to break through to the next level despite being highly talented, experienced, and respected. 

Another might be at a crossroads, navigating a new role or a reorganization. 

Others might be dealing with a specific challenge, like a difficult stakeholder relationship or a team that isn’t clicking. 

Yet another might feel exhausted, wondering why the job they once loved now feels like a burden.

Even when the challenges appear similar, the insight that kickstarts one leader’s growth might be irrelevant to another. The approach that energizes one person to new heights might cause another person’s burnout.

That’s why, when I start coaching a leader, the first thing I do is listen – really listen – to understand where they are at and how I can best meet them there.

WHAT “MEETING YOU WHERE YOU ARE” LOOKS LIKE

Step 1 is about identifying your starting point. 

I ask questions like: What do you genuinely love about the work you do? What do you want to be different? What patterns are repeating — in your relationships, in your decision-making, in the way stress shows up in your body and how you respond to different situations? What organizational dynamics are you dealing with?

Success is always defined by you, not me. Your picture of what success will look like becomes the frame for every coaching conversation we have.

In company-sponsored leadership coaching, we also meet with your boss and interview 6-10 of your colleagues and direct reports. The goal is to get their input on your leadership strengths, what skills they would like you develop, and what changes they would like to see from you. This, too, helps form the picture of “where you are”. 

Step 2 brings to light the hidden patterns.

For this, we use assessments – and not just any assessment! My favorite is the Kolbe™ A Index because it reveals something most leadership tools miss: how you are naturally wired to take action. 

This is not your IQ or your personality. It’s your instinctive, innate operating style — the way your mind works when it’s at its best, without strain or friction. 

When you become aware of this, something shifts. 

You stop trying to fix what was never broken just because someone said you should. You start understanding why certain approaches drain you while others feel effortless. You embrace the freedom of doing the work, your way. You might even realize that the quirk you have been apologizing for is, in fact, one of your greatest assets! 

Step 3 is about building YOUR path forward.

Now we are ready to build a leadership coaching roadmap that works for you. Not a rigid pre-designed agenda, but a concrete, collaborative plan that reflects where you are, honors your strengths, and charts a clear course toward the impact you want to have. 

A CLIENT EXAMPLE

I recently coached a super-smart lawyer who works on global environment issues. He was frustrated that his key stakeholders didn’t understand his legal recommendations and the frustration was exhausting him. That was his starting point.

Since this was a company-sponsored coaching, we met with his boss, plus I got input from some of the stakeholders. They all respected him greatly for his legal counsel; at the same time, they felt he wasn’t a team player. 

So, we worked on what stopped him from being collaborative with others: he was so busy telling others what to do, he would forget to slow down and listen to their issues. He decided to embrace a simple discipline of becoming a better listener, which was a huge behavioral shift for him.  He was thrilled with the connections he began to make and was quite surprised by the simplicity of it!

“I’M NOT SURE I KNOW WHAT I NEED FROM THIS”

This is one of the things I hear most often from clients and that’s okay! 

You don’t have to walk into coaching with a perfectly articulated development plan; just with curiosity and a willingness to look honestly at yourself.

Think of the space between your current reality and your highest potential not as a gap to be filled with checklists and self-improvement projects, but as an open road full of possibilities and amazing discoveries.

The leaders I coach are far more capable than they realize. What’s missing for them is clarity: about who they are, how they’re naturally built to contribute, what’s been getting in their way, and what becomes possible once they get out of their own way. 

Coaching creates the space for that clarity to emerge. It allows them to “let their hair down” and actually think. Not just react or execute, but reflect. And when they give themselves that space, the breakthroughs they make tend to far exceed what they imagined.

If you’re wondering whether coaching might be the right next step for your leadership growth, let’s have a conversation about where you are, where you’d like to go, and all the possibilities waiting for you!