What really matters for success, character, happiness and lifelong achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.

Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence or EQ for short has become interchangeable with interpersonal skills.  As a leadership coach, I am often hired to help executives increase their EQ.   Research shows that EQ is a skill and can be increased.

There are many models and assessments on the market that measure EQ.  Genos International is unique in that they have defined the seven fundamental skills you must have to be emotionally intelligent.  They define EQ as a set of skills that defines how effectively you perceive, understand, reason with and manage your own and others’ feelings. These skills are important at work, as feelings and emotions are an inherent part of workplace activities at all levels.  Below is Genos’s EQ definition of each skill and the benefits of using them in the workplace.

The first skill, Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to perceive one’s own feelings.  As simple as that sounds, many people are not aware of their feelings.  Emotional Self-Management and Emotional Self-Control are about being able to manage your emotions, particularly when they become intense.  Many of us have worked for or around people who are unable to manage their emotions and it is very disruptive and upsetting.

My favorite skills in this model are Emotional Expression, being able to effectively express your emotions and Emotional Reasoning, the ability to use emotional information when making decisions.  These two skills are key to emotionally intelligent leaders and you will not find them in many other models.

Here is a recent example of where I used the skills, Emotional Awareness of Others and Emotional Management of Others. I was debriefing an assessment tool with a new employee, a project manager at a startup with her boss, the COO.  When we began to discuss her and her bosses’ expectations of the new role, the employee became very flushed and non-verbally uncomfortable.  Recognizing her discomfort is the skill of Emotional Awareness of Others.  Then I began to use the skill of Emotional Management of Others – I acknowledged her concern and suggested strategies to deal with her discomfort. In fact, I underscored the issue several times to ensure her concerns had been addressed before we ended the meeting.

After the meeting, it occurred to me that the two EQ skills I had used might not have been apparent to the COO, so I followed up with him.  No, he was not aware of her discomfort or why I had reinforced the point about the new employee’s role several times. We reviewed how he can recognize her emotions and manage them or other issues as they occur.  This scenario is a good example of how simple EQ skills can be, yet how important and impactful they are for strong leadership.

I share the Genos International model with clients because they must be able to deliver the seven EQ skills to embrace the more advanced skills.   For example, the Hay Group’s Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI) model is based on Daniel Goleman’s model and uses more sophisticated EQ skills like Conflict Management, Empathy, Influence, Inspirational Leadership, Teamwork, Organizational Awareness and Positivity.  Both tools provide a 360° version, so you can obtain feedback from others on well you deliver the skills.  I use both models for individual leadership coaching and team engagements.

Please contact me to learn more about how EQ skills can make a difference in your world.

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.

Dale Carnegie