When I work with leaders on their development, the focus is on how they can be better contributors in their role. However, coaching is a holistic process; it looks at the whole person, not just who you are on the job.

There are often synergies between how a person shows up in their professional and personal lives that are worth exploring or can be used during coaching. In fact, it is not uncommon for my clients to tell me that the development work is improving not just their leadership role but their home life as well. On the few occasions when I might get to meet their spouses, they always confirm that!

PERSONAL SKILLS GOING UNUTILIZED ON THE JOB

Sometimes the reverse happens, too: there might be skills they are naturally employing in their personal lives that could help them improve their impact as leaders.

For example, if a client is looking to strengthen the way they communicate with their direct reports, I might ask: How do you handle these kinds of conversations at home? They often laugh or smile as they admit they have had to sharpen those skills in the home setting. They don’t realize they are not carrying them over to their job and what a missed opportunity that might be.

That’s what happened with Harvey, an intense corporate lawyer I coached. At the start of the engagement, as I almost always do, I had his key stakeholders provide feedback on his leadership performance. The report highlighted how every single person mentioned that the way he communicated with them was too complicated and full of legal language. This made it hard for them to comprehend and follow his comments.  

At first, Harvey wondered if he had to “dumb down” what he shared. My response? Absolutely not. However, I invited him to consider how he might simplify his communication style. His colleagues were equally bright but most of them were not lawyers. They needed him to turn his legal counsel into explanations that would make sense to them.

So, I asked him how he communicated with his wife and two teenage daughters. He immediately began to laugh and said that years prior his daughters had “taught” him how to talk to them! He understood the point and said he would work on his communication approach at work.

BRIDGING THE PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL SELF

I think it’s important to point out that this shift was not an easy task for him. Within his company, he had defined himself as a smart lawyer grounded in a deep analysis of the law. There was a certain identity attached to how he communicated with his colleagues. That’s why what he had mastered at home had not transferred to his professional setting. Once he realized how the lightness, he had learned to embrace in his parenting skills could be a huge asset in his work collaborations, he was willing to focus upon his communication style.

Harvey is working to simplify how and what he explains to his stakeholders, giving them the top line issues and recommendations now. He is also focusing on his listening skills to ensure his stakeholders sense that he is listening to their concerns and making time for their input. It is not easy for Harvey to make these shifts. Yet, he understands how important it is for him to interact like this with the internal clients he serves. 

And on any day, he can stop and remind himself what his young daughters have taught him!

These kinds of increased self-awareness and a-ha moments are typical during coaching, as is the improvement in leadership performance that comes with them. This example also shows how important it is to consider the whole person, not just the role they are seeking to develop.

How about you?  Are there things you do in your personal life that you could transfer to your work to strengthen your leadership?  Give me a call and let’s talk about your thoughts.